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Friday, December 18, 2015

Are we equally yoked?

Image result for couple
The term equally yoked originates from a biblical perspective, 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the King James Version: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion hath light with darkness?”
The phrase is meant for use in business and interpersonal relationships, but it's also used in romantic relationships. When used in a romantic sense, the biblical perspective refers to believer vs a non-believer. The idea of being equally yoked comes from a wooden bar (yoke) that joins two oxen to each other, and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another. 
Now that we know the origin of the term, its relation to modern day relationships makes more sense. Ideally, after the age of 25, the relationships we enter into should potentially lead to marriage. There aren't many reasons to enter into a committed relationship unless you plan on taking the person seriously and marrying them (it's not rocket science). Yet, so many people still date without even thinking once, let alone twice about marriage with their mate.
If you are thinking about marriage, you need to evaluate the things that would make you equally yoked. You need to learn about one another’s background, as well as the financial, social, and physical offerings that are being brought into the relationship. You need to look at where the two of you are in life and if you can accomplish the task (a happy, healthy, everlasting marriage) together. If you're not equally yoked, then you're just working against one another.
You may not be 100% equally yoked in all areas, but there are some major topics you need to discuss before committing to a relationship. Looking at income/income potential, communication/ consistency, sexual appetite and whether or not a person wants to have kids are important.  Also, (I don’t go into it in depth below), ask the person if they want to get married, a lot of people don’t care for marriage. Marriage is not for everyone, and you can’t change or convince yourself that marriage is a great idea. Either you want to marry or you don’t, and no amount of love in the world can change that. 
1. Income/ Income potential:Image result for love and money
It's 2015, and woman are definitely working and making more money than in the past. In some cases women make more than their partner. It's perfectly fine (hell it’s great) to make more money than your mate, you just need to look at what they are doing or trying to do. If you make 70k and your mate makes 50k, no biggie, you’re both making decent salaries and will probably have the flexibility to get things done with little stress and good budgeting. 
The problem begins if you're making 70k and your mate is making maybe 20k, and is not actively doing anything to change their situation. There are a lot of people that have fallen upon hard times, and are actively trying to better their situation. They have the means (i.e; specific skill set, trade, degree, etc.), and there are those who will always be upon hard times because they have no motivation.
We all have the ability to change our current financial situation for the future, if you're ambitious and your mate isn’t it may be okay for now, but you will think twice when the mortgage and childcare bills are due. It's highly important you find a partner with a similar approach to money and budgeting. In some rare cases one mate makes more than enough, and it’s mutually agreed someone should stay home to take care of the kids. For most regular folk, that's not the case and it takes two incomes. One of the main reasons people divorce is money, don't make a decision now that doesn't make cents in the long run.

2. Sexual appetite:Image result for making love
If you're having pre-marital sex (most of us are, shame on us :), then know your needs and the needs of your partner. If you're on the conservative side and don't care to explore, or you're the type that needs to have sex daily (or multiple times a day), find a partner who suits your needs. Marrying someone who doesn't satisfy you or overwhelms you can definitely cause major issues in a marriage.
Sex can always be worked on, but you need a partner willing to work on it with you, if your partner is adamant that once a week is enough and you need it daily, you may find yourself stepping outside of your marriage for satisfaction.
Also, don't be afraid to discuss sex before you have sex! So many people don't like talking about it before they do it, even though they know they're going to do it. Talk it out with your potential partner at the appropriate time (probably not the very first conversation), and express what you like and find out what they like.
3. Communication/ Consistency: Image result for couple communication
I put these two together because although they are different they are important for similar reasons. When you’re considering a relationship with a person, you want to make sure you feel secure. Part of feeling secure comes from having clear, consistent communication with the person you are dating. If you aren't feeling secure, how can you expect to move past dating into a full blown relationship? Some people like to talk throughout the day, some like to talk once a day or every few days.
I know plenty of women who don't like being bothered with daily conversations and rather send an occasional text or email. I know plenty of men who enjoy talking on the phone daily and texting throughout the day. There is someone for everyone!
Know your communication style and your needs, find a partner that communicates in a way that makes you feel secure, or is willing to work on communicating in a way that's mutually pleasing. There are also tools to help partners communicate more effectively; one I like to use when I first start dating is the five love languages. I've read the book by Gary chapman, and I've taken the quiz and encourage potential mates to take it as the well
4. KIDS:
Last, but damn sure not least is kids. The kids conversation is definitely a must have conversation. Too many people choose a mate that has opposite ideals when it comes to kids, and deal with it hoping they can change the mate. Some hope once they have the child their mate will see how great they are and change their mind. Others hope once their mate lives a child free life for a few years they will forget wanting to have a child.
 More than likely it won't end well, you will either spend your life in regret that you never had a child, or you will be an absentee parent/spouse because you never wanted the child and you feel trapped. Forcing someone who doesn't want a child to have one is cruel. Forcing someone who does want a child to not have any is cruel. Don't be cruel, if you love someone let them go and be with a mate that can satisfy their needs. Kids are a big deal and take a lot of work; a child deserves two parents invested in their future. So please do yourself and your boo a favor and discuss the big K (KIDS), before you enter into a committed relationship.
Now these four items are not the end all be all of ways to make a relationship work, but they are MAJOR issues that can cause divorce, and the purpose of marriage is not divorce. The task set before you in marriage is to make it work, and the easiest way to make it work is to ensure you're equally yoked before you say I DO (don't you just love those words). If you and your partner are equally yoked financially, sexually, communicably, and on the same page with having kids, then when problems do arise you will have a stronger bond to fight them.
 Make smart choices when you're vetting a mate, think with your heart AND your brain. Make sure you're equally yoked, and in the words of the great Keith Sweat "Make it last forever".Image result for up couple
Love and Light,


Monday, December 14, 2015

Makeup Monday....A Brunching Beauty

So I had a  brunch meetup with a friend yesterday, and although it was the warmest December day I've ever experienced, I wanted to keep my makeup nice and soft. 
The feature of the look was my The Balm Rockstar palette in Balm Jovi. I love this palettes, it's one of  my all time faves. It comes with a gorgeous arrangement of eye-shadows, a cheek highlight, a blush, and two lip glosses. It's well worth the $40.00. So without further ado here goes the breakdown.

Primer with Revlon Photo ready Perfecting Primer
 L'Oreal Lumi in Soft Sable
 Highlight: BH Wild & Radiant Baked Illuminating & Bronzing Palette
 Blush: Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blush in Candy Coral

Nyx Cosmetics HD  eyeshadow primer
The Balm Rockstar pallette colors Allegro and R.E.M

Revlon Pink Pout

Tell me your thoughts in the comments below.

Toodles Darlings,

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I'm over my natural hair....

You see this smiling seemingly happy girl. The one with the cute poof. Let me share a secret with you, she yes me, is over her natural hair....Don't get the game twisted, I love natural hair. I love the look, the gorgeous curls, the claiming of our God given crown, but I for one go through period of love and hate with my natural hair and let me tell you why:

The natural hair envy

I've been natural for almost 5 years, 5 years of failed twist outs,  protective styles and fairy knots and while my hair has grown considerably, since my TWA phase. Yes it is about bra strap length when stretched, but the envy I experience is ridiculous. Case in point let talk about my sister: she's been natural since 2013,has an occasional  fairy knots, has gorgeous curls with only four twist and usually at all times, and wait for it....... hair is longer than mine. We use similar products and I know she's a little bit more religious with her nightly twist out game, but yeah somewhere in the world this has to be unfair. Combine this with YouTube and Instagram vloggers and you set yourself up for envy which equals natural hair failure. I can't help to lust after you Naptural85, you just wake it so darn easy to!

The time commitment
When I went natural, I thought I was rid of the days of spending all day and some part of the evenings on my hair. WRONG! I have to pre-poo, dry detangle, co-wash, section into 4, condition, deep condition, cherry lolita, henna, LOC, twist out and then after all of that it takes 2 score and 7 years to dry! I can't!And this is every single week! Don't forget to twist it out every night:

The styling
I too have committed hours and hours to watching YouTube videos.  I've seen the quick, or so the YouTube video timer suggest, styles that come out perfect if you use the perfect blend of that product and this technique. I've tried the said style to come out looking like who shot it and ran. Forget about trying to wash and go! My hair has the uncanny ability to knots into multiple variations of crazy and forget about finding a good winter style that leaves your hair perfectly coiled but not wet in 5 below weather.

My empty pockets

That was the perfect segway to this topic, how much we spend on products. When I was relaxed I knew my monthly hair budget was relaxer/tip+ biweekly doobie+ blue magic hair grease= definite number. Now as a natural you find yourself searching for that holy grail of products that will make your hair have that extra coiffed poof, maintain hair definition, moisture, and just to prevent it from just being an all around hot mess.  Or watching Youtube you see the natural who you love with your hair type using this product and it comes out gorgeous and your like I NEED IT!!!!!Product junkie Life is a expensive habit!

While this is not my natural hair suicide note and I'm preparing to  jump in a vat of creamy crack, but it's more of me breaking the "oh natural hair is soooooooooo wonderful at all times" myth that a lot of the natural hair natzis like to push out in social media. I know this post might get a lot of #clapback but I had to be honest.
What are you frustrations with natural hair? Or is it all butterflies and rainbows for you?
Leave your comments below.

Till later....
Toodles Darling,


Monday, November 23, 2015

Makeup Monday's... It's a Girl!

So we all know from Instagram I'm not preggers! We threw a mini baby shower for one of my good good girlfriends and I wanted to be pretty in pink to match the theme of the day.

Primed with Skindinivia The Makeup Primer Spray ( a product I am growing to love more and more each day)
Hard candy Sheer Envy  Primer Long wear 12 hour power
 L'Oreal Lumi in Soft Sable
 Highlight: BH Wild & Radiant Baked Illuminating & Bronzing Palette
 Blush: Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blush in Candy Coral
 Set with Fergie Wet N' Wild Take on the Night Mattifying Powder

Nyx Cosmetics Eyeshadow HD eyeshadow Primer
BH Cosmetics Wild Child Baked Eyeshadows
Mascara: Essence Falsie Effect
Eyeliner: Nyx Two Timer

Urban Decay Revolution high color lip gloss in Failbait

Can we talk about the lip gloss? This was a part of an ipsy bag over the summer and I never tried it. So knowing my intense love of Urban Decay, I wanted to be super impressed, I was horribly underwhelmed. It reminded me of a glosser Revlon Pink Pout or Maybelline Make Me Pink.
See swatches below!
Starting from the Top
1. Urban Decay  in Failbait
2. Maybelline Make Me Pink
3. Revlon Pink Pout

My personal opinion,I could have just used on of those colors, used a gloss, and would have gotten a better color pay off for a fraction of the money. Glad it was just a sample and I didn't pay the $16.00 for this product.

What are your thoughts on my soft pink look? Do you think I found a good dupe for the UD lip gloss? What are your thoughts on the UD lip glosses as a whole? Leave your comments in the box below.

Toodles Darlings,


Sunday, November 15, 2015

Year of no Fear

              A few days ago I started following "Shonda Rhimes," on social media, and suddenly I've become intrigued with her life and stories. I recently learned that she had publish a book titled, "Year of Yes", a synopsis of her year long journey of saying "yes," when she rather say "no.  I bought the book and immediately after reading a few pages I began to smile, because I could relate in so many ways to the words in her book. It correlated with a challenge that my friends and I had taken in July 2015. We were going to stomp fear into the ground, and not let it deter our objectives.  The only thing to fear was fear itself. The idea came to us during brunch, and in true brunch fashion, drinking our mimosas we began talking about our lives, and reflecting on our growth. "Year of no fear," is as simple as it sounds, for a year we challenged ourselves to step outside of our box, live fearlessly and hold each other accountable if we let fear defeat us from our objectives.

It's been a little challenging starting the "Year of no fear," or documenting my progress like I should. In my heart I feel that my sudden infatuation with Ms. Rhimes, and her book reminded me of my own challenges. There were a few things that I had to bite the bullet on and just say "Yes!" to (buying a home, being vulnerably in love), but there are still some things, I need to still step up and step out on. The release of her book is also a reminder, that I need to continue living with no fear.  I've only gotten through the first few chapters, but from seeing the recent changes in her life (i.e.  Her 107 lbs in weight loss!), I am certain that her year has worked. 

Living with no fear has been a challenge, and it's easy to talk yourself out of saying "Yes!" you can rationalize with the truth, but it really is fear, and not you being pre cautious or firm on a position. It's easy to convince yourself, that you are not good enough,  or you have doubt in your own abilities, but the premise that even if you do try, there is an underlying possibility that you may still fail or fall short of your objective.  This then becomes your crutch, your safety blanket to make an excuse of why you can't or wont succeed.  It's taking one less bruise to your ego, but I'll tell you fear can take many different forms. Fear can be disguised as the cute baby you just had, so that you don't have extra time, for friends or date night with hubby.  That new home you just bought,  made you broke so you don't have no extra money to go bowling or go to the movies with the girls.  Fear can be the last three times you tried to date and that didn't work, or the whole month you spent working out and didn't lose a pound.  Fear can be cute, cuddly and comfy, or real ugly, mean and nasty.  Fear has more costumes than Halloween, but at the end of the day fear is fear. 

We all know the adage that nothing great comes from living in fear.  Nike created the "Just do it," branding campaign in 1988, and In 1989, Mark Simo, Brian Simo, and Marty Moates created the clothing brand "NoFear".  The simple idea of living with no fear, and the saying just do it have been around way longer than those campaigns, and clothing lines.  Those marketing slogans were just an idea. The idea that if we live with no fear, and just do it we can achieve greatness, and with this post, I am reaffirming myself to the challenge of living fearlessly.  I am going to apply for a job, that fear had previously kept me from applying for,  and I am going to recommit myself to completing my book.  I am going to say "Yes," to opportunities that come my way, and step outside of my comfort zone.  In the next 8 months, I will stare fear in it's face and I won't back down.  I will update the blog once a month on my year of no fear and I encourage you all to share your journey.  Jaci and I, are both participating in this challenge, so feel free to ask us both questions, and or hold us accountable for our actions of fear.  If you're interested in doing your own year of no fear and need an accountability partner, email us at

Love and Light,

Monday, November 9, 2015

Makeup Monday!!!!!!! Ben Nye Final Seal vs Skindinavia

Hello everyone welcome to another installation of Makeup Monday!
Today for you we have a brief review and battle of the makeup finishing sprays.
I have to warn you this is not my usual cheap  frugalista product reviews as these items are a bit pricier but they last and last, so I think  it's worth the splurge.

So Ben Nye Final Seal.....
As you may recall in one of our earlier instagram posts, I did an 8 hour trial/ review of it as one of my favorite vloggers, Jackie Ania, raved about it ability to reduce and almost eliminate transfer. So I sucked it up and  said if it saves my white blouses and my hands from scrubbing foundation out of collars, it's worth the coins.

Ben Nye Final Seal retails for $23.00 for 8oz bottle on

Change Ben Nye Final Seal Matte Sealer 8 oz

One of the things I love the most about this product is that when you let it dry it almost completely prevents transfers of your makeup, so even if you haven't set with a powder, your makeup isn't budging at all!!! It also gives you a gorgeous dewy glow which I love. My only warning to you, is that this stuff burns, if you have open pores or you have a few ingrown hairs on your face, it will burn. It last for 5 secs, but it's really shocking at first. Also if you spray too much it gets really sticky, so go easy, tiger. I usually only use this for going out, but the 8 oz bottle has last me at least 5 months now and I'm only done 1/4 of the bottle.
  My face with Final Seal.

Skindinavia  currently retails for $29.00 for 4 oz at
(I believe I got mine on sale for $23.00 when I purchased it though)

Makeup Finishing Spray Oil Control
So I got on the Skindinavia bandwagon when I saw a few of my favorite vloggers and instagram MUAs  posting all about it. The reviews were amazing and although for a make up spray, its usually out of my price range, I thought it might help reduce transfer without the burn and stickiness of the Final Seal so I felt to try it, blame it on the art of makeup. Just a tidbit, the makers of this brand also make the urban decay primer and setting sprays. Everyone knows how I feel about urban decay. LOVE THEM, anywhoo.

I purchased the finishing spray for $23.00 on sale and with it I got two additional samples one of the primer spray and another one of the finishing spray. I shrugged I didn't really understand the whole priming spray thing, but conceded it  that would be nice for when I travel and give me a chance to try the system out together. So I tried the system and they worked decent together, it gave me a nice little shine. I find that to make this really work well it require a cream primer in between to get the bang out of it. The dewy finish though holds all day and your skin looks like you walk around with someone sprizzing water on your face all day, but it doesn't prevent transfer at all.
 My silly face with the Skindinivia primer spray, Hard Candy 12 hour primer, and the Skindinivia finishing spray. 

 Final Vote:
 The best bang for your buck of course is Ben Nye final seal! You get 4 oz more product for the same money, it prevents transfer, which is most important to me, and I can suck up the burn to reduce the embarrassing makeup neck.

Let me know your thoughts? Or if you would like me to review other sprays. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Oils for Life: Eczema Relief

Winter weather is upon us (at times), the cold air means the mercury is plunging and this can cause eczema symptoms to spike. For many with eczema, extreme cold can cause breakouts because the skin becomes too dry. For those unaware, eczema is a skin condition that causes itchy, red, and swollen patches of skin. The most common type is called atopic dermatitis

Moisturizing well is the best way to ease the symptoms associated with eczema, there are many lotions and creams (prescription and non prescription) that treat eczema. However, if you're looking for a more natural way to treat symptoms try sunflower oil. You can either find cleansing or moisturizing products that contain sunflower oil, or you can actually apply the oil directly to your skin.

Due to its emollient properties, sunflower oil helps the skin retain its moisture. Using sunflower oil as a lotion acts as a protective barrier and helps in reducing skin infection. If you have a pre-term infant, it can be used daily and has been shown to reduce skin infections by 14%. Sunflower oil is extremely high in Vitamin E which is essential for preventing damage to the skin cells. Vitamin E improves the appearance and health of your skin, scarring and smoothing of existing wrinkles.

It's also rich in vitamins A, C and D and healthy carotenoids and waxes which form a protective barrier on the skin. Sunflower oil is also an excellent source of beta-carotene, which protects your skin against the sun. Sunflower oil has antioxidant properties that help prevent premature signs of aging, It's wonderful for dry, dehydrated, or sensitive skin.

One great mix for sunflower oil is using it with castor oil, the combination will effectively get rid of dead skin cells and irritating foreign materials. This mixture can be used as a cleanser and there is no need to use a moisturizer, because these oils actually have vitamins and fatty acids that will keep your skin soft and smooth. This mix will help prevent any further eczema outbreaks, and provide much needed relief.

Another mix I like is sunflower and coconut oil, coconut oil is very moisturizing and healing by itself. Coconut oil contains saturated fats which are medium chain fatty acids or triglycerides. When applied to the skin, they keep it smooth to the touch. It also contains Capric /Caprylic/Lauric acid which have have strong disinfectant and antimicrobial properties. Another component is vitamin E which is essential for healthy skin growth, and repair of wear and tear on the skin.

Using sunflower and coconut oil is probably one of my favorite mixes, its not too thick and it works wonders during the winter. Coconut oil is my go to oil for skin uses, and gives me an extra layer of insulation and warmth in the winter. When using sunflower oil it's important to remember to use it on dry skin only, do not use it on red inflamed skin. As a disclaimer I am not a doctor, so I always recommend consulting with your physician first. Hopefully, these methods help provide some relief for you this winter. Please leave a comment with methods you've used, or on how helpful these have been for you!

Love and Light!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Makeup Monday's......Meet the Ice Queen

Halloween is on Saturday and it's actually one of my favorite days of the year.  You may have not known this about me but I'm a bit of nerd and super into fantasy so I searched and searched for something to recreate for a Halloween and got stuck on thinking who to be but I decided to go down another path and make my own, I decided that I should be a Queen, but not just any queen, no friends, I bring you the Ice Queen.

 Face: L'Oreal Lumi in Soft Sable
 Highlight: Glamorous Chicks Cosmetics Shimmer Powder in White Pearl
 Blush: Maybelline Dream Bouncy Blush in Candy Coral
Nyx Blush in Angel
 Rhinestones adhered with duo lash glue

Nyx Cosmetics Jumbo Pencil in Milk
BH Cosmetics 1st Edition Palette light blue and dark blue colors
BH Cosmetics Glitter in  Platinum
Mascara: Essence Falsie Effect
Lashes: Ardell in 110 Nautral
Eyeliner: Nyx Two Timer

Lips: Scandalize eyeshadow stick in turquoise
Hard Candy Fierce effects in Skyfall

Head Jewelry (Necklace) from Ali-Express

Hope you enjoyed my look! What's your Halloween Costume this year? Are you doing store bought or something a little bit more creative ?

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Event Review....Autumn Wine Festival 2015

Hello Darlings,

Last weekend, Jameshia and I decided to head to the Autumn Wine Festival in West Deptford, New Jersey. A delightful little event held in the Riverwinds fields featuring 12 delicious local wineries, 5 food trucks and featured 99 the beat radio station playing music for us to dance and sweat out our liquor to.

For $15 in advance or $20 at the door, we got to sample a tasting for various different flavors of the local wines and got a free wine glass to try them all. Each vendor, had ready and ample bottles varying from sweet to dry for  both tasting and had cases on deck ready for purchase.

After sampling the wines, Jameshia and I had to hit up the food trucks and try something to soak up all the yummy wine. So we headed to Star of the Sea seafood truck and we were not disappointed!

The lobster roll sandwich and the crab balls!!!! YUMMMERS!!!!

Despite it being such a chilly day, we had a great time and would definitely go again with our lawn chairs in tow and dancing shoes on.

Did you go too? What were your thoughts?

Toodles Darlings,


Monday, October 12, 2015

Makeup Monday's...Battle of the Budget Mascaras

The newest and latest trend  in mascara has been to recreate the look of a falsie, otherwise known as a false lash. While there are so many great brands that give you some awesome looks,both high end and low. I am  #teambeatonabudget so I thought I'd bring to you my review on 3 budget friendly options. Yes ladies and gents, each one of these featured mascaras are under $10.00!

From left to right:
1.E.L.F. 3-in 1 Mascara  $3.00, E.L.F. store
2. Essence Princess Lash False lash effect Mascara $4.99 Ulta
3. Maybelline The Falsies Push Up Drama $8.99 CVS

So I naturally have little length to my lashes, but density is what I strongly lack. Excuse the googly eyes it's really hard to focus on your eyes when taking a picture! Here are my lashes au naturale: 

So now we start the reviews.....

1. E.L.F. 3-in-1 Mascara
I really like it for the cost, like for 3 dollars, it gave me a lot of length, but it lacked the thickness that I thought it would offer. My left eye (well really my right) is 2 coats, as I apply for each of the looks, of the the E.L.F. 3-in-1 Mascara.

2.  Essence Princess Lash False lash effect Mascara

 As you all know I am a huge fan of the Essence line, it's budget and it works so well. DO you not see this length and this thickness for $5.00 who can beat this value and I happen to love the length and thickness that it gives me. Hands down one of my favorite mascaras of all time.

3. Maybelline The Falsies Push Up Drama

This mascara has the most hype surrounding it and the best packaging in my opinion, I love the colors, Unfortunately it doesn't perform up to the hype, it lengthening but it made my lashes a bit limp. Overall, I do like it, it doesn't blow my mind away, I probably won't purchase it again simply because I can buy 2 of the Essence mascaras for the price of 1 Maybelline.

There you have it. What budget brand mascaras are your favorite? Enter it in the comments below.

Toodles Darlings,