I got trust issues....my open letter to plus size bloggers

So I know this letter  comes as a surprise,as we have had two major accomplishments for the plus size community ,in terms of beauty and body acceptance in major mainstream media, Ashley Graham's breaking the mold and being the first plus size woman to grace the coveted Swimsuit issue of Sport Illustrated and the ultra sexy Ebony cover featuring a slew of sexy plus size women rocking music, social media, broadway and television:

But  I have trust issues within our community and its with many of the plus size bloggers. Why you ask, because so many of them are living a big fat, pun intented, lie. Before you clutch your invisible pearls, hear me out,  lately I've been noticing that many of of my favorite plus size bloggers one by one are starting to get some sort of weight loss surgery. So I ask myself, should I continue to ride with you as an avid follower and continue to drink your former plus size positivity. Swallow my plus size pride and now back your "healthy living campaign" since you betrayed my trust, changed your mind and  decided after several years of your self love campaign you truly didn't love yourself as you were. You walk around with the tee shirts and rock with the hashtag "unbothered belly and all" and all the while you were bothered and that's how we landed here. 

So let me clarify, I am a plus size woman, I'm a blogger, but I don't classify myself as a plus size bloggers because that's not our platform is for and while I do love myself in my current skin, I do want to lose weight. So I'm not going to wear the crown and carry the staff of a community when I know if I can get it together and drop back down to a size 10, I'm jumping ship.

But you, I looked to you all and trusted you for advice on where to shop, for motivation to be my authentic fashion forward self because you were,  I leaned on your for confidence when I wanted to be fly, I would go to your various blog pages and instagrams and say if XYZ can rock this, I can rock it too! But now that's all over because while I looked to you and helped funnel your success, you were shopping for a way out since the community you created, wasn't the life you wanted to be apart of anymore.
Now don't get me wrong, I advocate working out, eating right, and changing your life especially if you are living with comorbidities especially such as hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease. But you don't need to drop to a size 8 to bed healthy because skinny does not equal healthy and I'm sorry not one of you mentioned that you had a life altering illness you had to get in control. It was more for superficial reasons like your hatred of spanxs, fyi, everyone hates spanx they are made with the devil's locks. Now I as I scroll through your page you're less one of me and one of them and I don't know how I feel about that.
So I ask of you, those who are remaining in our group, before you call yourself one of the captains, make sure your are really on this plus size advocacy thing or are you really eying the safety rafts from the corner of your eyes.

Toodles Darlings,
Jacquel

Philadelphia Spring Festivals Part 1

With spring around the corner, plans are already underway for all of the fun and mostly free things to do in Philly. Below is part one of some of the upcoming festivals (because Philly has so many), that you can enjoy with friends, family or solo! This spring get out and see some Philly!

• Philly wine week

April 3-10, 2016

PWW features over 50 participating venues in a collaborative effort to sip, learn and enjoy wine!. There’s a kickoff party at stratus rooftop lounge april 3^rd form 5-8 Tickets go in sale March 1^st on the website with event details to come. For more up to date information go to http://www.phillywineweek.org/ or follow PWW on social media: Twitter @Phlwineweek  and Instagram @phillywineweek

• Macy’s Springtime Flower Show

March 20 - April 3, 2016   

MACY’S Center City

 1300 Market Street

(215) 241-9000

The spectacular Grand Court at Macy’s will be transformed into a Secret Garden complete with a whimsical landscape, vibrant flowers, lush greens and blooming trees.  Also, if you’re visiting from out of town, be sure to stop by the Macy’s visitor center on the main level to get Macy’s 10% Off Visitor Pass! Some restrictions apply

For more up to date information follow Macy’s at: http://facebook.com/visitphilly/ http://twitter.com/visitphilly

• Philadelphia Chinese Lantern Festival in Franklin Square

April 22-June 12 

Franklin Square, 200 6th Street 

Ticket Price TBD

The festival will run from April 22 through June 12. More than 25 lanterns will fill the historic park.

Franklin Square will also welcome themed vendors and performances throughout the festival. The park will glow with handcrafted giant flowers, a three-story pagoda and a 200-foot Chinese dragon, all brilliantly lit and constructed by lantern artisans from China. For more information visit: http://www.historicphiladelphia.org/franklin-square/chineselanternfestival/

•  4th Annual South Street Headhouse Spring Festival,

Saturday, May 7^th, 2016

Time: 11am-8pm.

South Street Spring Festival is ready to rock with the Philadelphia’s best sounds, tastes, sips, shopping and sights on Saturday, May 7, 2016, from 11:00AM to 8:00PM. This giant, free, all-ages outdoor block party will close down South Street (between Front and 8th) and run along Headhouse Plaza (between South and Lombard

• Philadelphia Zombie Crawl

Easter Sunday March 27^th, 2016

The Philly Zombie Crawl spans South Street’s local area bars/nightspots to create a night of bar-hopping and undead madness. This year everyone will meetup at the original home for zombies all year long the Tattooed Mom (530 South Street) to launch the Philly Zombie Party! For more details visit http://phillyzombie.com/back-to-our-undead-roots/

 Or follow them on twitter @phillyzombie

• 2016 Subaru Cherry Blossom Festival

April 11 to 17, 2016.

Over the course of a week, the Subaru Cherry Blossom Festival celebrates both traditional and contemporary Japan with a variety of events, including demonstrations of martial arts, ikebana flower arranging, a restaurant week—Dine Out Japan, as well as live musical and dance performances. For more information visit http://subarucherryblossom.org/

• Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival

The weekends of April 9th & 16th, 2016

Two weekends of traditional Japanese cultural activities, all events are free with garden admission!

For more information visit http://www.business-services.upenn.edu/arboretum/events_cb_festival.shtml

• Spring StrEAT Food Festival

Sunday, April 10, 2016

11AM-5PM

Meet on Main Street for the StrEAT Food Festival, which kicks off the spring Manayunk Restaurant Week. Enjoy food-truck fare, sample restaurant offerings, shop sidewalk sales and live entertainment. Best of all admission is free! For a listing of participating vendors visit: http://manayunk.com/signature-events/spring-streat-food-festival/streat-food-festival-vendors.html

• Philly Farm and Food Fest

Sunday, April 10, 2016

11AM-4PM

Try local food and drinks, watch cooking demonstrations and celebrate the local food scene at Philly Farm and Food Festival at the Pennsylvania Convention Center. For more info or tickets (General Admission $15.00) visit: http://phillyfarmfest.org/

• Spring Fling at Peddler’s Village

 April 16^th & 17^th

10AM-5PM

Peddler’s Village welcomes spring with its annual spring fling weekend.  Enjoy live music (http://www.peddlersvillage.com/public_docs/media/PV-Spring16_entertain-web2.pdf) , food, crafts and more. There will also be DIY home and garden ideas, landscape and garden displays and much much more. Admission is free! For more info visit: https://www.peddlersvillage.com/festivals/spring-fling

Love and Light,

Amira

Makeup Monday! 10 minute makeup morning routine

So I know it's all about the high fashion makeup and while I enjoy a good beat, I enjoy sleep a lot more! I wanted to show the world my natural, no makeup, makeup look. So this friends is my every day, make myself look like a human being look.

So my everyday look is pretty simple:
I prime using one of my primers, today I used Hard Candy 12 hour primer.
For my eyebrows today I used The Balm Mr. Write(Now) in Jac
Mascara in E.L.F. 3-in-1 lengthen, define,& volumize
Foundation I use L'oreal Lumi in Soft Sable.
I put a little sparkle on my cheeks I used elf baked blush in Peeky cheeky.
My lips is just a light purple lipgloss in tangy bite.
I set with NYX dewy finish


There you have it, that is my total every day routine, I may change it up and do a brighter color lip or do a liner and a bolder mascara.

What's your everyday routine?

Jacquel's rules for online dating!

Hey everyone! I wrote this post two years ago around the same time, (isn't that funny!) for my former blog, but in reading through it, all of these fabulous dating tips are still are true! Some of my own tips I've even forgotten and  so I thought it be nice to (re)share them all with you, so happy reading:

So lately I've been seeing a lot of do's and don'ts for online dating. Oh online dating, a way to meet potential suitors only once  reserved for only the ugly and the geekest of the super geek, but now most singles are at least subscribed to one and more people day by day are jumping on these websites to simply give themselves more of an opportunity to hopefully connect to someone:

 Since Valentine's day is around the corner, yes it's a on a weekend (compound the lonely factor a weekend and it's Valentine's day and you're A LONE) many of you are working overtime  to find a boo, hell even have a date. Believe me we are in the same boat, but I have a master plan to making sure the lack of dates aren't about you but them. Here are my rules for at least making sure you're not the reason for the lack of love  in your inbox.


1. Don't only use headshots:
Nothing says I have zero confidence in myself like a profile with only headshots. We understand your 4 angles with different lippies must be seen, but what about you in the bad dress you got a clearance from ASOS the one that hits you in all your good good, yes, that picture. Who cares if you're a big girl! Own it and be confident, believe me a lot of men whether they admit  it or not like a little cushion for the pushin' and the sexiest thing on a woman should be her confidence. What's says I'm more confident than your body for the world to see like #pow! No blurry or fuzzy pictures either you're not fooling anyone!
Be warned, if the pictures you chose to post are only of you in you skimpiest -all- skin-out-barely- covering- your- nipples-dress, I said to post a full body in a sexy dress not lingerie. For my blissguys, full on ab and muscle pictures, or the several stacks $100 bills on your dresser or using them as the new and upgraded Chinese fan, please don't wonder why you're only attracting losers. Flossing your goods, money or otherwise, only shows me that your personality has nothing of value and you think you have to lure someone in by using these items. Remember: Real G's move in silence and those pictures are screaming, in all caps: "DO NOT EMAIL THIS PERSON"
Another picture advice item:  please don't only be in your bedroom when taking pictures, please at least pretend like you have a life, if you don't, go make one. It's a helpful first step in dating, you need something going on to talk about. Which leads me to my next point.....

2. Please have something to talk about and don't be annoyed to say the same thing over and over....
Nothing turns me off more than talking to a person who answers with one word answers. I get your asked the same question by different people every time you log on to your profile, but how do you  expect someone to want to connect to you with an answer with "I work" or "Stuff". I think the rudest thing said to me was "It's all on my profile." I get you want people to read your profile, but I'd be a fool to think that every detail about you was contained in a 3000+ character box.

3. Profiles, profiles, profiles....
Lets talk about profiles, please do not put: "I'm a cool girl, look for someone to chill with" What are your interest, what makes you smile, who you be with...lol. No, seriously, if people can't get a sense of who you are from your profile why would they want to get to know you better. Make yourself memorable but not too memorable. I once read a profile of a guy who said he had seizures, two kids, gave up his driver's license and by the way, had a criminal record...Yes. I learned this all from reading his profile. I know you want to lay it all out on the table, but leave a little bit of you for the discussion part. 'K.

Bitter people, you don't know you're bitter but let me show you how I know you're bitter: You are the ones saying all men are dogs, I don't like gold diggers,liars, and cheaters and my all time personal favorite: I don't date black women,(note you look like Kunta Kinte from Roots) because they are evil, ghetto, and uneducated.  Uhhh isn't your mother black?  I repeat: this will not attract anyone!!! Even the people you aren't excluding from your search will not respond because it sets off their bitter and angry detector and they run to the next profile. Who wants to sign up for that?!?!?! Not I. In reality, who is really going to look on your profile and say "Oh I'm a liar so I'm not going to email them because they said no liars." Let me answer that one too: No one. This is not stopping anyone so STOP IT. Not saying it's wrong to have preference and standards, but there are ways to communicate it without looking like a bitter old shrew.

Last but not least spelling and grammar count: I know you young bucks like all this text talk, l8r,brb,hru, let me clue you in I hate it and most people will a bit of education and common sense over the age of 25+ do too. Please be able to string together a sentence because if you can't without the use of some weird text lingo it makes you look ignorant and uneducated. Also, I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, meet spell check.  I will admit it, I am an educated professional, but I've never won any spelling bee's, so guess what I read over everything I send and write so that it's clear and concise and devoid of any misspellings. You only get one chance to make a 1st impression, remember that!

4.It's okay for ladies to approach men....don't faint
While I'll admit the courage is lacking in person, as I've let many a cutie in a grocery store pass me by( I'm still working up the courage to do more than say hello and smile.) Online behind the comfort of my computer and the protection of my couch's soft arms, why not say hello. He might think you're amazing too and was working up the nerve to speak or  you might have been not popped up in his random matches or his latest search and you could've been the love of his life. Ok, ok while it might not be that deep, what's the worst that can happen he emails back and says I'm not interested or he's wack (see above for one word answers). But you'll  never have to stare at his profile and wonder what could've been because guess what you already know.

5. If you meet a loser, block their ass, and move on the next one
I hate people who meet one loser, wack-a-doodle, or generally bad match and their like instantly swearing off dating online. Would you stop dating if that one dude you met in said grocery store was boring or a complete loser? No, you would call your homegirl, rag on him and move on to the next one. Why can't you have the same principle here? Hey I have thee best online dating stories, it makes for a good girl chat over drinks, trust me!

6. If they're trying to move too fast they're either looking for something or looking for nothing
I always am cautious about guys who are trying to move offline after a few meaningless exchanges. To me, they are either looking for a quick booty call and can't send too many naked selfies over the internet  or they just want to have someone to text when they are drunk or to stroke their egos. If you're feeling a little funky about moving it offline too quick, give 'em your google voice number and then if they just really liked you and knew instantly that you were the best thing since slice bread, because you are :-), then you move to an exchange regular phone numbers.

7. Do speak to person before you meet them:
Believe you me, I did this mistake once, and I ended up across the table from a social awkward loaf and in my head was screaming "Check please." It's important to talk because you find out some pretty interesting things:  I've weeded out some questionable employment, some indescribable accents (It's Juh- Qwell not Jackel), and some general weirdos just in the first conversation. If you can't make good conversation on the phone most likely it's not going to go anywhere on the date either.Save yourself the bad date and a waste of an outfit. Plus most cellphones are free after 9pm anyways so you're not losing anything!

8. Do not make online dating your only source for meeting a potential partner
I have met a lot of people who create a profile or two, then they sit in the house expecting a man to come and meet them. It don't work like that. Go out, try new activities, go to the club with you girls, something, but get out there and still flirt. You wouldn't put one job application and just sit back and  hope that you'll get the job. No you apply for all the jobs that match and hope the right one calls you back. Use the same methodology in dating.
That also works with people you're talking to, until you are officially dating, you are on the market. Be open to meeting new people even if you met a great guy on/off line. Something may pop up and change that and you now invested a month in and you've ignored several emails from suitable men and you're back at square one and nursing a wounded ego. Once you've established that the relationship is going somewhere then eliminate the other people.

9. Try multiple sites, like one free and one paid...
I know I don't like the recurring $29.99 from Match either, it significantly decreases how much shoes I can buy, but hear me out. People who are paying for their memberships 1. Have a job to afford things like paid dating websites so they can take you out on a date 2. Are more invested  in finding love since they shelled out some coins 3. Most people on that site are actually looking for a relationship no one works that hard for a booty call, no one.  Not saying it's a guarantee, but a lot of those websites such as Match do have a money back guarantee, play by their rules and try it out. Don't have the money: Cut back on something.  Eat bagged lunch from now on 1. you'll be able to afford it  and your waistline will be smaller since you're eating  healthier now. You invest in your job, why not invest in your love life.  It could be a win -win all around.

10. Have fun!
Yes being single sucks a rotten one, don't get me into my Celine Dion crooning, lol, but the journey to finding the right one might start with a click on a profile. You might not meet Mr. Right online, but you might meet some extremely fun people. As long as you're being safe about doing it, (public places only on the 1st couple dates please!) Take this as a time to try new things, but to also learn more about what you want in partner. A couple of missteps may have you making some of your own rules. Don't pressure yourself to meet the one right away, it'll all come in time and possibly a lot of meetings in coffee houses or better yet bars! Oooh bars...

Hope you enjoyed my tips! Anything else to add?  Hit the comments below!

Toodles Darlings,
Jacquel

Don't make resolutions....Make Standards!

Happy New Year, BLISSers,
Earlier this month, at my sorority meeting, one of my sorors made a poignant statement. She stated, "Everyone make resolutions, and by March they fall apart, but when you make standards for you life it sets the bar for your life." Or something like that, anywhoo.

So this year I making standards:
Fear:
As I think about 2016 and what I don't want to bring with me. I think about the thing that has crept into my life like full force since 2015.
My fear....
It has overwhelmed me in some many ways in every aspect of myself, and like Amira I'm thinking about my life in terms of fear and how it has held me back. While I'm afraid to clearly declare this as a year no fear (I know sounds counterintuitive) I'm hoping by sharing the things I feel anxious about it'll help me (or you find some common ground) and motivate each other to move forward. I need to get over this excessive fear that rules my life which I think is at the center of all my problems and what is hindering from moving forward.

Love:
I think this was one of the best and worst years of my life in terms of love. It was the first time in 2 1/2 years, that I found myself in love. And while it came as fast as it left, but it gave me hope that he exist, but again it left me jaded.
I had an emotional breakdown when driving home one day, like full ugly tears breakdown in my car, when I realized I was trying to recapture that magic with an older paramour because I was afraid that he was the best that I could do. I felt like another man of his caliber would never want me again. After I came to that realization, and stopped the tears long enough to make it off of 295, it was like an aha moment when I realized I found myself putting up with a lot of things like hella inconsistency and flakiness.  I began to introspectively realize that I was giving men chance after to chance to continue to hurt me.  I knew that a change needed to happen within me because you can't play the victim when you are handing out the permission slip.
I'm still a bit jaded because it take a while to release that weight, but I think I'm a lot more positive  with love and I've adopted a three strikes and you're out policy and that applies to the following things:
1. Cancellations-where I have to contact you for you tell me your cancelling. Like I get it things happen but you need to have enough respect for me and my time to at least give me a heads up and courtesy call that you are not coming.
2. Communication/consistency- You will get deleted and blocked, if you are inconsistent. Please read Amira's previous post on being equally yoked. I know my expectations and what is the level of communication and quality time I need, I am finally learning to be unapologetic about it.
3. Standards- I think this is the hardest one, I often feel so guilty about rejecting people because I'm inherently a people pleaser. I am constantly trying to put a square peg in a round hole. If he doesn't meet my standards, and I'm not talking about the superficial like 6 foot, chocolate skin, but things that matter like goals, ambition, and drive. I'm starting to realize that's okay to just say you are not where I need a partner to be and move on from there.

Career:
As far as my 9-5 (or 8:30-5), I'm actually in a really good spot, but I have room for growth and I feel like I'm going there, but I'm talking about my side hustle. My makeup! Makeup Monday's are a labor of love for me. But I do want to expand into for more freelancing and classes, I just need to what...STOP BEING AFRAID! Lol.  But I'm trying to realize that everyone that succeeds,fails and that's the only thing that has to take me through all of my anxiety. So here goes nothing!

Life:
I am learning to be unapologetically me. There are so many (well meaning of course) telling me what I need to do and what direction I need to go, that sometimes I have to close my eyes and do what's right for me. So my standard for my life is to do the things that make me happy even if mean sitting on the couch for 6 hours watching "A Different World" on Netflix, it's what is making me happy.

I know that things are not always going to go my way, but I feel that if I truly set standards in all aspects of my life that I can go by that 2016 might actually be my best year yet!

So what are your standards for 2016?

Leave it in the comments below.

Toodles Darlings,
Jacquel

Are we equally yoked?

The term equally yoked originates from a biblical perspective, 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the King James Version: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion hath light with darkness?”

The phrase is meant for use in business and interpersonal relationships, but it's also used in romantic relationships. When used in a romantic sense, the biblical perspective refers to believer vs a non-believer. The idea of being equally yoked comes from a wooden bar (yoke) that joins two oxen to each other, and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another. 

Now that we know the origin of the term, its relation to modern day relationships makes more sense. Ideally, after the age of 25, the relationships we enter into should potentially lead to marriage. There aren't many reasons to enter into a committed relationship unless you plan on taking the person seriously and marrying them (it's not rocket science). Yet, so many people still date without even thinking once, let alone twice about marriage with their mate.

If you are thinking about marriage, you need to evaluate the things that would make you equally yoked. You need to learn about one another’s background, as well as the financial, social, and physical offerings that are being brought into the relationship. You need to look at where the two of you are in life and if you can accomplish the task (a happy, healthy, everlasting marriage) together. If you're not equally yoked, then you're just working against one another.

You may not be 100% equally yoked in all areas, but there are some major topics you need to discuss before committing to a relationship. Looking at income/income potential, communication/ consistency, sexual appetite and whether or not a person wants to have kids are important.  Also, (I don’t go into it in depth below), ask the person if they want to get married, a lot of people don’t care for marriage. Marriage is not for everyone, and you can’t change or convince yourself that marriage is a great idea. Either you want to marry or you don’t, and no amount of love in the world can change that. 

1. Income/ Income potential:

It's 2015, and woman are definitely working and making more money than in the past. In some cases women make more than their partner. It's perfectly fine (hell it’s great) to make more money than your mate, you just need to look at what they are doing or trying to do. If you make 70k and your mate makes 50k, no biggie, you’re both making decent salaries and will probably have the flexibility to get things done with little stress and good budgeting. 

The problem begins if you're making 70k and your mate is making maybe 20k, and is not actively doing anything to change their situation. There are a lot of people that have fallen upon hard times, and are actively trying to better their situation. They have the means (i.e; specific skill set, trade, degree, etc.), and there are those who will always be upon hard times because they have no motivation.

We all have the ability to change our current financial situation for the future, if you're ambitious and your mate isn’t it may be okay for now, but you will think twice when the mortgage and childcare bills are due. It's highly important you find a partner with a similar approach to money and budgeting. In some rare cases one mate makes more than enough, and it’s mutually agreed someone should stay home to take care of the kids. For most regular folk, that's not the case and it takes two incomes. One of the main reasons people divorce is money, don't make a decision now that doesn't make cents in the long run.

2. Sexual appetite:

If you're having pre-marital sex (most of us are, shame on us :), then know your needs and the needs of your partner. If you're on the conservative side and don't care to explore, or you're the type that needs to have sex daily (or multiple times a day), find a partner who suits your needs. Marrying someone who doesn't satisfy you or overwhelms you can definitely cause major issues in a marriage.

Sex can always be worked on, but you need a partner willing to work on it with you, if your partner is adamant that once a week is enough and you need it daily, you may find yourself stepping outside of your marriage for satisfaction.

Also, don't be afraid to discuss sex before you have sex! So many people don't like talking about it before they do it, even though they know they're going to do it. Talk it out with your potential partner at the appropriate time (probably not the very first conversation), and express what you like and find out what they like.

3. Communication/ Consistency: 

I put these two together because although they are different they are important for similar reasons. When you’re considering a relationship with a person, you want to make sure you feel secure. Part of feeling secure comes from having clear, consistent communication with the person you are dating. If you aren't feeling secure, how can you expect to move past dating into a full blown relationship? Some people like to talk throughout the day, some like to talk once a day or every few days.

I know plenty of women who don't like being bothered with daily conversations and rather send an occasional text or email. I know plenty of men who enjoy talking on the phone daily and texting throughout the day. There is someone for everyone!

Know your communication style and your needs, find a partner that communicates in a way that makes you feel secure, or is willing to work on communicating in a way that's mutually pleasing. There are also tools to help partners communicate more effectively; one I like to use when I first start dating is the five love languages. I've read the book http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/080241270X by Gary chapman, and I've taken the quiz and encourage potential mates to take it as the well http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/.

4. KIDS:

Last, but damn sure not least is kids. The kids conversation is definitely a must have conversation. Too many people choose a mate that has opposite ideals when it comes to kids, and deal with it hoping they can change the mate. Some hope once they have the child their mate will see how great they are and change their mind. Others hope once their mate lives a child free life for a few years they will forget wanting to have a child.

 More than likely it won't end well, you will either spend your life in regret that you never had a child, or you will be an absentee parent/spouse because you never wanted the child and you feel trapped. Forcing someone who doesn't want a child to have one is cruel. Forcing someone who does want a child to not have any is cruel. Don't be cruel, if you love someone let them go and be with a mate that can satisfy their needs. Kids are a big deal and take a lot of work; a child deserves two parents invested in their future. So please do yourself and your boo a favor and discuss the big K (KIDS), before you enter into a committed relationship.

Now these four items are not the end all be all of ways to make a relationship work, but they are MAJOR issues that can cause divorce, and the purpose of marriage is not divorce. The task set before you in marriage is to make it work, and the easiest way to make it work is to ensure you're equally yoked before you say I DO (don't you just love those words). If you and your partner are equally yoked financially, sexually, communicably, and on the same page with having kids, then when problems do arise you will have a stronger bond to fight them.

 Make smart choices when you're vetting a mate, think with your heart AND your brain. Make sure you're equally yoked, and in the words of the great Keith Sweat "Make it last forever".

Love and Light,

Amira